Pornography addiction Hong Kong Australia and it’s affects on the relationship.
I look at porn sites every now and then.
“I only look at it every now and then, It’s harmless fun. We don’t make love anymore so I have to do something. It’s not really an addiction problem, is it?”
Pornography Addiction Hong Kong and Australia is rising at an alarming rate.
- Hong Kong has the highest number of pornography page views or visits worldwide.
- In Australia the industry is worth a staggering $500 million per year.
- In the U.S. 1 in 5 internet searches on a mobile device are for pornography.
- 20% of men admit to viewing pornography at work.
- 88% of porn scenes contain abuse or physical aggression towards women, 49% contain verbal aggression.
- The US supplies 25% of the worlds pornography sites compared to the UK 5.5% and Australia 1.5%
Is pornography just harmless fun?
Pointing out to my client if it were just ‘harmless fun’, we wouldn’t be having this conversation trying to repair the damage it’s caused – and stopping his wife from walking out the door.
In writing this article while trying to research statistics it was almost impossible to land on a website which was genuinely not promoting pornography.
Can pornography be healthy?
This is a topic for debate. Having heard experts and watched various documentaries on the subject and working with many couples, in my experience, I am yet to see any long term tangible benefits, only long term harm.
What is pornography addiction?
The definition of Porn addiction, which falls under the category of sex addiction, refers to behaviour which is carried out to excess, and negatively impacts ones life or relationships.
Porn addicts need a regular fix, like any drug addict except their drug of choice is pornography.
Most addicts satisfy their needs in isolation, either late at night or early in the morning. Some clients I have worked with take time out at lunch or schedule to leave later for work or to arrive home earlier so no one is around.
Signs of addiction:
Ones inability to stop using pornography after repeated attempts to do so.
Showing irritability or anger if asked to stop viewing pornography.
Going to great lengths to cover up the addiction.
Continuing use of pornography even though the consequences are severe – loss of relationship, friends, family or career.
Negatively affects your relationship as arousal becomes increasingly difficult.
Romantic or sexual behaviour between you and your partner becomes more emotionally disconnected, aggressive, domineering.
Using pornography to change your mood or mind state to avoid unpleasant feelings, like anxiety or depression.
Why is it so addictive?
Pornography taps into one of our basic human behaviours – sex. Therefore it is very easy to become addicted because of the reward, or pleasurable experience at the end. The gratification can also be easier to obtain rather than going out to find a mate to fulfil this desire, or it seems going through the build-up and foreplay with your partner.
In relationships, viewing of pornography by one partner often occurs when the partnership becomes disconnected and the person feels their ‘needs’ are not being met. Pornography can be seen as an easy ‘go-to’ rather than working on the relationship problems.
Problems occur when seeking sexual pleasure becomes excessive, impulsive or at the expense of valued behaviours or your relationship.
Other influencing factors
Genetically you may have a predisposition to impulsivity or sensation seeking behaviour.
You may have higher levels of sex hormones like testosterone or oestrogen.
Childhood trauma or other life altering events can contribute to some of the underlying traits in porn addiction.
Mental health conditions:
- Personality disorders
- Poor impulse control
- Performance anxiety
Social isolation or distance – this can be prevalent in overseas postings for military personnel or where one partner works away for extended periods of time.
Rejection in a relationship or bad experience.
Peer influence – having friends who regularly engage in watching pornography, which can have a normalising effect and influence your behaviour.