How do you see yourself? Do you love yourself and enjoy your own company? Do you value yourself? When I ask these questions the response is usually silence or a blank stare.
We’re all born with value or worth. It’s in our formative years that our worth becomes shaped by our peers, family or environment. It can go in one or two ways, either positive or negative.
When you feel you have little worth or value you expect to be cheated, devalued or put-down, and adopt the attitude of I deserve it, or I’m just not worthy.
The Self-worth program
This Self-worth program is based on my ASSERT model, a combination of positive psychology, therapy, and coaching. The traditional self-worth programs teach you a set of skills then leave you to your own devices. Where this program differs is you have the opportunity to work with your very own professional coach to help put into practise what you have actually learnt.
The ASSERT model gives you the tools, skills and confidence to be more assertive in your life.
Most of us at some stage in our lives look back at a situation and think, I should have been more assertive, I felt pressured into buying that or I have to learn to say no more often and it’s normally as you’re walking away. Assertiveness doesn’t work every time but I will help you understand when to be assertive and when it may suit to be aggressive or passive.
Assertive behaviour is a positive self-affirmation which adds value to you and also others in your life. Each of us has the right to be and to express ourselves and to feel good (not powerless or guilty) about doing so, as long as we do not hurt others in the process.
Feeling devalued whether in social situations or in a relationship are the main areas in which I work. People who are non-assertive often feel hurt or anxious since they allow others to choose for them.
You are part of the relationship, not the relationship.
When a relationship goes sour and you feel rejected, you take it personally and tell yourself it was all my fault. A relationship is about two people, not one. You are part of the relationship, not the relationship.
Our programs are specifically designed so that all participants feel safe, the environment is non-threatening and the emphasis is on learning new skills. If at any stage there are areas where a more personalised approach is required then the 1 on 1 follow up will put your mind at ease.
To discuss the content of the program and the learning outcomes, call me now or send me an email for more details – Sincerely, Dave
What would your ideal relationship look like? How can you create a partnership between 2 people that will stand the test of time?
There are no guarantees in any relationship, but I can guarantee with absolute certainty that with the right skills and understanding you will be able to enhance or create something truly amazing.
I have worked with many couples from all over the world and some with diverse cultural backgrounds, the one constant to a happy union is commitment to make your relationship work.
Relationships can become lifeless and stagnate.
Relationships need energy so they evolve and grow. If relationships aren’t growing and moving forward they quite often slow down or even stop. When they stop they become lifeless and stagnate. This is often when both partners start to drift apart and start living their own separate lives. Not anymore.
Based on my experience in working with many couples and individuals who lack certain skills, you get down to the finer points of what makes your relationship work and what doesn’t. Every relationship is different, no two people are the same, there is a different dynamic every time.
Your own relationship professional.
As with all my programs you have the option to have your own relationship professional answering questions and guiding you through once the program has finished. You have the skills and tools when you leave the program but often situations don’t go as planned, life doesn’t run like a classroom scenario or you forget certain things. With a quick email or call, we can get you back on track.
How can I show you more love and affection? Let me tell you how you can be more affectionate and love me more. Have you ever asked your partner those questions? Have they ever asked you? What would you say?
We explore 4 areas of intimacy.
We explore various ways of increasing your connection, intimacy is a big one. There are 4 areas of intimacy we work on: Physical, emotional, spiritual and intellectual. All are equally important and you will understand what each means to you. We take a look at the relationship wheel and see how far apart you are in some areas but how close you are in others.
Do you have any deal breakers? What are your boundaries or expectations in your relationship? You obviously have standards and values, are they or will they be compromised?
Safe, non-threatening, inclusive environment.
This program is designed for new couples starting out or couples wishing to enrich their relationship. This is a 1-day program with the option for follow-up coaching and education, call Dave now to see how this program will benefit you or your relationship.
The REBUILD program helps you understand the process of losing your significant other, whether through bereavement or divorce. You build an intimate bond with your partner, almost like an attachment. When that attachment is gone it’s like you’re missing a part of yourself. Confusion reigns.
Our program differs from others which are currently available, it has been designed to give you the skills and knowledge to help you see through the confusion, with the added support of your very own relationship professional.
When grief takes hold.
When grief takes hold and manifests as panic, anxiety or even depression, it’s time to seek professional help. Your local GP is a great start and they may recommend a course of medication but where do you go from there?
Our REBUILD program walks you through the process on how to start piecing your life back together.
The Realisation of what’s actually happened can hit you at any time. You live in denial thinking “This shouldn’t have happened to me, what have I done to deserve this?” Denial is one of the first hurdles to overcome. Learning ways to cope with the denial and fear you soon understand this is part of the process of realisation.
Loneliness, aloneness to all-oneness.
Loneliness and vulnerability are allies, they leave you feeling exposed. Before you had someone to confide in, a partner that was there for you, made you feel like you were part of a team, now you feel exposed. We will help you deal with that Exposure, move you from loneliness to being comfortable with aloneness then finally to all-oneness.
I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore.
Be bold, make a stand. Taking hold of your life and let your Boldness shine through. It’s not so much about standing on the roof tops it’s more about being comfortable with where you are at this moment, acceptance. Letting go of some of that past pain, anger or resentment will start you off on the road to healing.
Understand is another part of the taking ownership phase. What do I have to do to move forward, where do I want to go? What skills do I have available to help me unpack some of my baggage. Do I want another relationship or am I happy with just being with myself?
It’s a paradox.
When growth happens it’s time to Implement new strategies. Recognise your right to be open, honest and assertive. Your self-worth will be full, no more neediness, you’re comfortable in your own shoes. It’s a paradox that when you’re comfortable to live your life on your own, you’re ready for a relationship.
Change does take time, but you have to make a start. We help you recognise old patterns of behaviour, old ways of being. They may have served you in the past but now, not so much. Change your attitude then change your behaviour, listen to the feedback both internal and external. Change your own Language to more positive self-talk, your interactions with others. Did you know there is a ratio you should aim for in negative to positive comments?
Accept me for who I am.
If I choose to live the life of a single person then accept me for my choice. If I choose to be in a relationship then be accepting of that. Not having to conform to cultural norms is empowering in itself, at this stage you’re happy with your lot and you should feel comfortable to express who you really are. Discovery is the final phase of the journey, you’re on task with purpose and meaning.